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Too taboo to talk about. . .

Sex. . . . a subject that intrigues all of us, most of us are doing, yet one that's still considered too taboo to talk about. As my husband and I were intimate the other night I was reminded of yet another part of my husbands' personality, I will forever be grateful for. There are parts of this bleeding disorder that bring about some embarrassing issues during the most unpredictable times. . . like when we're having sex and I appreciate having a partner who's so understanding.
When my husband and I were first dating and at our young and in love stage of life. . . intimacy was an issue.  When we first got together I hadn't been diagnosed with Platelet Storage Pool Disorder yet, but it was obvious to us, certain positions enhanced my chances of bleeding, a lot more than others.  The first few years we were together, we had to go through many trials and tribulations before figuring out, through open communication and a good sense of humor, which positions caused more bleeding and which caused for the most part, none at all.
My partners prior to my husband, weren't so understanding and always made me feel like there was something wrong with me.  . . . Like my bleeding interfered with what they were trying to get out of the situation.  Bloody noses, unexplained bruises, and bleeding during sex was never discussed, which left me feeling very alone and misunderstood. I was experiencing all these embarrassing situations during my first encounters with intimacy and it left me feeling a little jaded. It became an uncomfortable situation because I always feared I was going to bleed unexpectedly and scare off my boy friend.
All that changed when I met my husband, he's always given me a sense of security I'd never experienced prior to being with him. We've always had open communication and been able to share whatever's on our mind, no matter what it is we're talking about. . . even if it's sex.  For the most part we've battled through enough to know we love each other . . . for better or worse.  I'm still getting reminded of this 10 years later. . .
The other night after a few drinks and loss of all inhibitions, we ended up having sex in one of our restricted positions . . . to which I started bleeding like crazy.  My husband ever so calmly, suggested we stop.  I responded with my usual embarrassment and feeling of guilt.  I felt like this was another
thing he could blame on my bleeding disorder. We can't even have sex without being reminded of it. He must hate that he's married to someone with this shit.  He replied to all of these reactions with his usual. . . "No I feel bad, I'm worried that I'm hurting you." and "It's not your fault."
Having open communication and finding a partner you literally can tell anything to is a rarity and something a lot of people take for granted, if they do have it. My husband and I bicker like crazy, but he truly brings me piece in knowing he will always love me unconditionally and we can share anything. He is here to support me . . . no matter what.  There are times through out our relationship where I know my bleeding disorder has grossed him out or made him feel uncomfortable, but he would never let me know that. . . And that is why I love him. He has taught me to accept my bleeding disorder and not be embarrassed and that someone can love you no matter what is wrong with your body. . . For that, I will be forever grateful to him. LOVE YA BABE!!!!
Written by,
Kari Peepe

©KariPeepe/atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com
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