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Ode to a teenager

As Scarlett's Kindergarten year comes to a close . . . we are being forced to re-evaluate everything that has happened over the last year involving Scarlett's safety and are proven to be at the mercy of her bleeding disorder once again. . . Over the course of her first year in Elementary school (and being away from family breathing down her neck) she hit her head 3x within the first 3 months of school and her Dad and I decided to pull her from any climbing in the Kindergarten yard.  She's gone through the most of her first year in Elementary School not being able to play like the other children, only able to use the play structure for the monkey bars and the slide.
Several different situations through out the year have slowly led us up to the point where we are at today, but when she came home last week with a huge bruise on her chin, (that had a scab, so it had to have bled at school) . . . and nobody, not even Scarlett had an explanation as to how it got there. . .  we knew it was time to have someone at school just there to watch Scarlett and help guide her in making safe decisions and to be there to follow through on her emergency plan, should anything happen.  This was a decision I lost sleep over, cried over and had countless discussions within our household about it, before coming to grips with the fact that this is what Scarlett needs, to be able to live as much like a kid as possible, but with the assurance that there is someone there to gently remind her of her limitations.
As I said. . . I didn't make this decision lightly and I started off being very angry that her Dr's and school were suggesting she couldn't play on the big structure on the 1-6 grade yard at all, even if she were to get an aide.  The more I talked to outsiders the more I heard people start throwing the word liability around. . . And once I started telling my story I heard myself repeating this phrase I find myself saying way too often. . . "I want someone there to keep her safe."  The more I thought about what I was saying the more I realized the pressure and liability that puts on anybody if it's thrown at them that way.  I'm not here to sue anyone cause my kid gets hurt. . . I just want someone to help make sure my daughter isn't doing something that's going to put her in a life threatening situation and if she does get hurt the correct steps are taken immediately and efficiently  . . .
I talked to numerous different people about this over the last week including one of my bleeder bloggers and she she said the most amazing thing to me. . . "Your not God"  Now I know this statement shouldn't have shocked me so much, but it just made something click inside me. . . Suddenly I realized I've been going about this all wrong. . . I'M NOT GOD<NONE OF US ARE. . . I've been stating I wanted an aide present to keep her safe... When in all reality nobody can keep her safe from injuries. . . she's human and a kid. . .What an aide CAN do is make sure the correct steps are taken if an injury does occur and to be a helpful reminder when she needs some guidance on making safe decisions.
We sent Scarlett to Kindergarten hoping she wouldn't need something like this and are still torn with having to make this decision.  We are forever grateful to her school for being so accommodating and hope this will help ease the worry for everyone involved.  But most of all I'm thankful for the lesson I was taught through all this, from an amazing young lady Keira from our bleeder community . . . I'M NOT GOD.
Now, I know I'm not God, but when us bleeder parents throw around words like "keep our kids safe" or "prevent injury". . .we are putting expectations on ourselves and others that nobody can keep.  Kids are kids, and no matter how much we smother them, are there to remind them of dangers, yell at them to slow down. . .they are still probably going to get hurt . . . we need to start making sure our little bleeders are surrounded by people who know what to do if it does. . . not expect them to prevent it from happening.















Written by,
Kari Peepe


 ©KariPeepe/atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com
http://atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com


For more stories about getting Scarlett tested, injuries and her health please check out:

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