My biggest fear (and something I've seen countless times, being a preschool teacher for 15 years) is children bumping their heads. Bumping them into each other. Bumping them on the floor. Bumping them on a stair. On a slide. On a swing. . . Everything! And this is what I'm supposed to be trying to prevent my child from doing? Not an easy job to take on AND one I'm tired of defending. Because Scarlett's condition is so rare, Dr.'s don't know for sure that the medicine she's been prescribed is actually going to work in a life threatening situation. . . So there advice is to be preventative. Try to do everything in your power to lessen the chances of her getting hurt. An impossible task to take on, BUT one I'm being asked to do.
The question of Birthday Parties, Play Dates, and Sleepovers started for Scarlett, when she was about 3 years old. The preschool I taught at and that she attended, left us with many invitations to all sorts of different parties, all of which always posed the question. . "is this party going to be safe for her to go to?" We've gotten to ice skate, bowl, and climb and play in places I probably wouldn't ordinarily choose to take Scarlett for fear of her hitting her head and injuring herself.
The first real scary party she was invited to was the ice skating part. A fun and exciting moment for her. . absolutely horrifying for me. I went as prepared as I could. Helmet. Padded. And she was pretty much between my legs the whole time or I was holding her hands in a way that she couldn't ever really fall to the ice. But still horrifying! There were several times, where if I hadn't been there to catch her, the outcomes could've been catastrophic and still give me nightmares to this day. One time I literally caught her as her legs flew out from underneath her. Her head was about an inch from the ground before she knew it as her feet flew up into the sky. I caught her just in time. All in all, I'm glad I let her go to the party, but it probably ruled out any ice skating in her future.
I went to another birthday party when Scarlett was 5 at an indoor jumpy house facility. Luckily I had taken my children there before, so I knew what to remind Scarlett of before we went in and was feeling pretty relaxed about the situation. But visits prior to this were always contingent on the amount of kids that were playing and I always had my husband there to help when the children decided to run off in different directions. Making sure the 2 year old doest't hurt himself while watching Scarlett like a hawk can seem daunting at times.
We were at the party for about 15 minutes when one of the parents looked at me and said "you are going to give yourself a heart attack". She politely went on to explain that I'd been running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to ensure both kids were safe. I stopped stressing long enough to look around to notice that every other parent was laughing, carrying on conversations. I was running around reminding Scarlett to be careful.
This was the first time someone outside of my everyday life, mentioned to me that I seemed really stressed and that I need to chill or I'm going to give myself a nervous breakdown. (I should specify that I feel very comfortable with this particular parent, she's one I've gone out and had drinks with outside of our children being friends and I by no means was offended by anything that she was saying.). . . She went on to say how stressful it must be to try and prevent a child from getting hurt. Something no parent can do, and surely it doesn't have to feel like your world could come crashing down on you, if it did. She sympathized but reiterated that I've got to learn to let go a little. I can't be watching her every second of every single day.
Which comes to my next problem. . . Play dates. I somehow managed to get away with not having any playdate issues until Scarlett started Kindergarden. With all the time spent at preschool with me and playdates at grandparents and Aunts' houses she was kept very busy and never really worried about spending time with friends outside of her daycare environment.
Then Kindergarten came and her first true BEST FRIEND. Once Scarlett found a best friend she asked for play dates all the time. Having friends over at our house worked for awhile but we eventually had to face our fear of leaving Scarlett with someone else. Something we miraculously had gone this far with out doing and one we dreading putting on another parent. I always fear that other parents will feel like it's a burden or extra work having Scarlett over to play. What if she gets hurt? What if they can't get hold of me? What if nobody is watching and she falls and bumps her head? What if they play too rough?
In all reality I can't keep her in a bubble and eventually had to intrust her with someone else. And after going over all the crazy scenarios in my head I sent her off on her 1st play date and everything went great. She got to have several more throughout the year and we are learning how to inform parents of the correct steps to take should anything occur.
Sleepovers are still something I'm not ready for. I feel like it's just too much time where something could go wrong, and I know I wouldn't sleep the whole night that she was gone. I'm sure I'll work up to this sooner than later, but right now it just scares the crap out of me.
I'm learning to let go and can see that Scarlett is starting to reach the next milestone of her bleeding disorder. She is finally getting to a point where she can start managing it on her own and needs less and less reminders to make safe decisions. She is playing more careful, is more aware of her body and her surroundings. I can only hope that the older she gets the less we have to stress about Birthday Parties, Play dates, and Sleepovers.
 |
| Scarlett iceskating |
The first real scary party she was invited to was the ice skating part. A fun and exciting moment for her. . absolutely horrifying for me. I went as prepared as I could. Helmet. Padded. And she was pretty much between my legs the whole time or I was holding her hands in a way that she couldn't ever really fall to the ice. But still horrifying! There were several times, where if I hadn't been there to catch her, the outcomes could've been catastrophic and still give me nightmares to this day. One time I literally caught her as her legs flew out from underneath her. Her head was about an inch from the ground before she knew it as her feet flew up into the sky. I caught her just in time. All in all, I'm glad I let her go to the party, but it probably ruled out any ice skating in her future.
I went to another birthday party when Scarlett was 5 at an indoor jumpy house facility. Luckily I had taken my children there before, so I knew what to remind Scarlett of before we went in and was feeling pretty relaxed about the situation. But visits prior to this were always contingent on the amount of kids that were playing and I always had my husband there to help when the children decided to run off in different directions. Making sure the 2 year old doest't hurt himself while watching Scarlett like a hawk can seem daunting at times.
 |
| came home from party with this |
This was the first time someone outside of my everyday life, mentioned to me that I seemed really stressed and that I need to chill or I'm going to give myself a nervous breakdown. (I should specify that I feel very comfortable with this particular parent, she's one I've gone out and had drinks with outside of our children being friends and I by no means was offended by anything that she was saying.). . . She went on to say how stressful it must be to try and prevent a child from getting hurt. Something no parent can do, and surely it doesn't have to feel like your world could come crashing down on you, if it did. She sympathized but reiterated that I've got to learn to let go a little. I can't be watching her every second of every single day.
Which comes to my next problem. . . Play dates. I somehow managed to get away with not having any playdate issues until Scarlett started Kindergarden. With all the time spent at preschool with me and playdates at grandparents and Aunts' houses she was kept very busy and never really worried about spending time with friends outside of her daycare environment.
Then Kindergarten came and her first true BEST FRIEND. Once Scarlett found a best friend she asked for play dates all the time. Having friends over at our house worked for awhile but we eventually had to face our fear of leaving Scarlett with someone else. Something we miraculously had gone this far with out doing and one we dreading putting on another parent. I always fear that other parents will feel like it's a burden or extra work having Scarlett over to play. What if she gets hurt? What if they can't get hold of me? What if nobody is watching and she falls and bumps her head? What if they play too rough?
In all reality I can't keep her in a bubble and eventually had to intrust her with someone else. And after going over all the crazy scenarios in my head I sent her off on her 1st play date and everything went great. She got to have several more throughout the year and we are learning how to inform parents of the correct steps to take should anything occur.
Sleepovers are still something I'm not ready for. I feel like it's just too much time where something could go wrong, and I know I wouldn't sleep the whole night that she was gone. I'm sure I'll work up to this sooner than later, but right now it just scares the crap out of me.
I'm learning to let go and can see that Scarlett is starting to reach the next milestone of her bleeding disorder. She is finally getting to a point where she can start managing it on her own and needs less and less reminders to make safe decisions. She is playing more careful, is more aware of her body and her surroundings. I can only hope that the older she gets the less we have to stress about Birthday Parties, Play dates, and Sleepovers.
Written by,
Kari Peepe
pspdaware@gmail.com
Written by,
Kari Peepe
Comments