Scarlett is in a year round school which leads to a quick summer. Before we know it, summer has come to an end and it's time to get ready for school. I remember this being an exciting time. . . A new class, new teachers, new classmates, new responsibilities . . It was a much anticipated time of year. . . But for my daughter I fear this isn't the case. For someone like my daughter changes can be emotional, difficult and downright frightening.
So on an ordinary sultry California night in July, while most kids were settling down and anticipating another day of summer fun . . . my little princess was crying in her bed, riddled with anxiety about starting the 3rd grade. When I went to console her and ask her what was wrong she broke down explaining the fears she had.
Through a few minutes of sobbing incoherently, screaming things like" I hate my bleeding disorder" and " I wish I could make it go away.". . . and I got her to calm down and process what was bothering her and what she was so scared of. . She went on to tell me she was worried she was going to get freedom on the yard, get hurt, and then get her freedom taken away.
We had been talking all summer about the changes that were coming with being older this year. . . so I honestly was shocked this was her reaction the night before school was about to start. As she's screaming and crying, pleading with me to stay at school with her all day, I reluctantly tell her it's going to be alright, somehow we will find a balance of her feeling independent like all her peers but still feel safe and taken care of.
Scarlett got a lot of freedom taken away from her in 1st grad after she hit her head but our final goal has always been to have her on the playground, free to play with her peers, as soon as possible. Last year although she had an aide watching her at play, our hope was that she was gaining the confidence to play safely on her own with her friends. We hoped to slowly integrate Scarlett onto the playground at a slow, safe, and comfortable pace.
Being that we made it through last year with little injuries, we decided this year she could have a lot more freedom. I had told her that her aide would keep a further distance to her and that she didn't need to check in with her as much. I tried to tell her she was going to get to use the yard as she pleased without having to ask permission or check in before going to another area of the yard. Figuring this would be something that she was ecstatic about it never even occurred to me that this new sense of freedom was something she wasn't looking forward to.
Its times like this it's so hard not to promise her the world and tell her that won't happen, but the reality is I can't. How do you assure your little one she won't get hurt? The odds are just like that of any other 3rd grader at this point, she's been on the playground for 2 years where she's been reminded of the rules, and she knows what happens when she gets hurt. It's time to set her free and let her learn her boundaries.
So we woke up on Scarlett's first day of school a little nervous of how the day would go. We made sure to get to school bright and early and meet up with her new teacher to go over some basic ground rules with her bleeding disorder and proper protocol if she gets injured. Scarlett's best friend was already in class so while I was I assuring her teacher she would be a part of Scarlett's 504 meeting and that we would go over more details then, Scarlett got to roam around her new classroom. After that we headed out to the yard to re-unite with all her friends.
By the time the bell rang Scarlett seemed ready to go to class. She hurried to line up and eagerly followed her classmates off the yard. I had already agreed to take her brother home and come back in time for recess, so good-byes went relatively smooth.
With a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye I drove away so happy our 3rd grade jitters had turned from tears to cheers.
So on an ordinary sultry California night in July, while most kids were settling down and anticipating another day of summer fun . . . my little princess was crying in her bed, riddled with anxiety about starting the 3rd grade. When I went to console her and ask her what was wrong she broke down explaining the fears she had.
Through a few minutes of sobbing incoherently, screaming things like" I hate my bleeding disorder" and " I wish I could make it go away.". . . and I got her to calm down and process what was bothering her and what she was so scared of. . She went on to tell me she was worried she was going to get freedom on the yard, get hurt, and then get her freedom taken away.
Scarlett got a lot of freedom taken away from her in 1st grad after she hit her head but our final goal has always been to have her on the playground, free to play with her peers, as soon as possible. Last year although she had an aide watching her at play, our hope was that she was gaining the confidence to play safely on her own with her friends. We hoped to slowly integrate Scarlett onto the playground at a slow, safe, and comfortable pace.
Being that we made it through last year with little injuries, we decided this year she could have a lot more freedom. I had told her that her aide would keep a further distance to her and that she didn't need to check in with her as much. I tried to tell her she was going to get to use the yard as she pleased without having to ask permission or check in before going to another area of the yard. Figuring this would be something that she was ecstatic about it never even occurred to me that this new sense of freedom was something she wasn't looking forward to.
Its times like this it's so hard not to promise her the world and tell her that won't happen, but the reality is I can't. How do you assure your little one she won't get hurt? The odds are just like that of any other 3rd grader at this point, she's been on the playground for 2 years where she's been reminded of the rules, and she knows what happens when she gets hurt. It's time to set her free and let her learn her boundaries.
So we woke up on Scarlett's first day of school a little nervous of how the day would go. We made sure to get to school bright and early and meet up with her new teacher to go over some basic ground rules with her bleeding disorder and proper protocol if she gets injured. Scarlett's best friend was already in class so while I was I assuring her teacher she would be a part of Scarlett's 504 meeting and that we would go over more details then, Scarlett got to roam around her new classroom. After that we headed out to the yard to re-unite with all her friends.
By the time the bell rang Scarlett seemed ready to go to class. She hurried to line up and eagerly followed her classmates off the yard. I had already agreed to take her brother home and come back in time for recess, so good-byes went relatively smooth.
With a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye I drove away so happy our 3rd grade jitters had turned from tears to cheers.
Written by,
Kari Peepe
©KariPeepe/atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com
http://atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com
pspdaware@gmail.com
Written by,
Kari Peepe
For more of my blog entries about our life in elementary school check out:
- College or Kinderten-Enrolling Scarlett in Elementary School: http://atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-kindergarten-nightmare.html
- Scarlett's 504 plan-Kinder: http://atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com/2014/06/section-504-to-play-no-more.html
- Scarlett's Kinder year comes to a close: http://atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com/2014/05/ode-to-teenager.html
- Scarlett's first week of 1st grade: http://atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com/2014/07/scarletts-first-week-of-1st-grade.html
- A trip to the ER and Scarlett's 1st CATscan -1st grade: http://atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-trip-to-er-and-scarletts-first-cat.html
- A Family Camp for Bleeding Disorders gave Scarlett the confidence to speak up for what she wanted at school-1st grade: http://atouchofscarlett.blogspot.com/2015/10/a-piece-i-wrote-for-hfa-s-infusing-love_17.html
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